MEA To Turn To Porn, Tabloids For Fresh Fodder

New Delhi - Sources in the Ministry of External Affairs (MEA) say that several staffers in the Ministry will soon embark on a new offensive to find things that are offensive in places never noticed before. This new mission will involve going through hundreds of pornographic books, videos and websites to find anything that is offensive to he Indian culture or Indian peoples. They will also be buying all the tabloids available in supermarkets. Once something offensive is detected, the MEA will then register protest over it with the relevant governments or corporations.

This new mission has been launched following the success of offence-taking exercises against a two-bit talentless unknown and unimportant NRI comedian Gautham Prasad, and against the trashy UK TV show Big Brother.

"We have now successfully targeted the seediest reality TV show around, and a comedian previously known to approximately 7 people. It is only logical that we move on to porn and tabloids next." a senior official in the MEA confessed on conditions of anonymity.

Rumours of this offensive have got struggling newcomers in the porn industry excited, as they see in this decision a sure-shot formula for fame. A spokesman for "They See Films", who specialise in voyeur porn with an Indian flavour, said "All of us at 'They See' are very excited about this offensive. We are trying to come up with ways to insult the Indian culture so that we get the kind of publicity that you just can't buy."

This move is also expected to further boost the revenues of 'F.E.G. Inc', a company that specialises in the manufacture and sale of equipment and supplies needed for street protests. 2006 was a record year for company, with revenues up by 1300%. There is also talk of an IPO next month.

The offensive will be formally launched in Indore on February 14, which the government will be naming as "Offence Day", a day to express anger and disgust at everything that insults or goes against Indian culture.