Police raid rant party, end up disgruntled

In a pre-dawn raid, police raided a flat on the outskirts of Pune anticipating a party of dopers. Instead, to their embarassment, all they found was a bunch of mopers in their pyjamas complaining about their life, their spouses, and their bosses.

"We had received a tip-off from sources about a suspicious 'rant party' happening this night. We surrounded the building complex and stormed in, but we did not find anything more than bottles of warm cola and cold pizza. My men were pretty disappointed." said the officer in charge, Inspector Radne. Owner of the house and party-organiser Piloo Fait protested against this police action. "This is an example of the way society treats those who have the moral fibre to complain." "The bitches", he added eloquently.

Sources tell us that the organisers sent out notices via social networking sites like "The Orkut" and by word-of-mouth, inviting people to a party where one could "declaim the iniquities of life without restriction". "We heard some pretty harsh things today", said one participant who wished to remain unnamed. She was later heard complaining that the party was not good enough to even be successfully busted.

It also appears that some of the policemen succumbed to the facilities (which included a personalizable dartboard and punchbags). Injustices in promotions and bandobast beats were aired openly, but off the record. "I am out raiding parties all the time - the fried snacks served there make it impossible to get rid of my paunch. How do superiors expect me to?" asked one constable, sitting on a bean-bag.

Inspector Radne refused to admit the police had made a mistake, slapping a fine on Piloo Fait for playing a Region-2 DVD on a modified Region-5 DVD Player. The police party then left the disgruntled people alone, who settled down to watch episodes of "Grumpy Old Men".

New Coach for Indian Team Announced...

*FLASH NEWS* (Sent by guest editor Silverine)

Mumbai - At a recently concluded Press Conference the Chief of BCCI announced that they have decided on the people who will coach a totally new Indian Cricket Team. The selected people and their designations are given below. It is hoped that the vast experience and expertise of these people will help mold a World Class Indian Cricket Team.

Sachin Tendulkar: Chief Coach
Sourav Ganguly: Assistant Coach
Dhoni: Adviser to Chief Coach
Sreesanth: Adviser to Assistant Coach

Anil Kumble: Chief Bowling Coach
Harbhajan Singh: Assistant to Chief Bowling Coach
Irfan Pathan: Assistant Bowling Coach
Zaheer Khan: Assistant to Assistant Bowling Coach

Yuvraj Singh: Chief Fielding Coach
Dhoni: Assistant Fielding Coach
Munaf Patel: Assistant to Chief Fielding Coach

Rahul Dravid: Chief Batting Coach
Virender Sehwag: Assistant Batting Coach
Dinesh Karthik: Adviser to Chief Batting Coach
Robin Uthapa: Adviser to Assistant Batting Coach

The team selection will be concluded in a couple of years or four, but the appointment of the coaches is immediate. According to inside sources corporates like Frankinn Airhostess School, Achumama School of Charm and Faultless English and Uma Bharti Finishing School have already booked the coaches for endorsements.

According to the BCCI the line-up of new coaches of the next India World Cup squad is deadly enough to give the sponsors good mileage for their money.

When this reporter asked a BCCI official about the probables for the next "Indian World Cup Team" he said quote "Indian Cricket Team? Whatiteez?" unquote.